


Fading

by yellowvim



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Ghoul Kaneki Ken, Mental Health Issues, Oneshot Kaneki Ken, Other, Poor Kaneki, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki, Triggers, i have no idea what this, im sorry its bad, this is old, youll be okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:43:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10074809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowvim/pseuds/yellowvim
Summary: You were fading. Your once bubbly and happy exterior was now dull and depressed.Kaneki missed you. You were the only thing keeping him in ties with his insanity, and now you were gone. He loved you, and he needed you back. You had already faded. But you weren't done fighting.And neither was he.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is posted on my DeviantArt: ZigsterBruh420 (stupid name, I know, pls dont roast me)  
> It's also posted on my WattPad: DaddyDrank  
> Under both, the story is called Faded, however
> 
> So no, I'm not stealing anyone's work, as it is my own.

He watched as you silently looked out the window. Cars zoomed by quickly, their lights illuminating the world. You couldn't bring yourself to speak, or cry, anymore. You kinda just existed, barely that. You were a fading no one. 

Your depression wasn't a monster. Many people described depression as 'the monster hiding behind the wall', but yours wasn't. Yours didn't hide. You could feel the depression pulling at your heart, at your mind. But what could you do to stop it? See a therapist? Talk about your ghoul boyfriend and friends? No. You couldn't do that.

Take medicine? Tried that, you almost killed yourself. Not purposely, but they weren't working quick enough for you, so you took the entire bottle in a day. Kaneki had sobbed as he shoved his fingers down you throat. Not once in his life did he think he'd have to make you vomit to save your life. You had been shocked back to reality by a cold shower. You'd stood, laughing and sobbing all at once, vomit covering your chin and chest. 

You once watched a human get ripped apart limb by limb. And you didn't even flinch. You had been messed up for so long, it was your normal. Kaneki knew this, but he thought he could change you. He wanted to change you. He needed the you he fell in love with back. You were killing yourself with all your imaginary worries. But, they were real to you. They were as real as the ground beneath your feet, the air you breathed. The lips you used to kiss.

There is no distraction to mask what is real. Nobody thinks what you think. You were inching closer and closer to the ledge of your mind. Your body was being pulled to the edge. You didn't want to go. You gripped the ground with all your might, trying to pull yourself to your feet. You could see Kaneki reaching for you, but being held back. He was being held back by you.

The you holding him back sobbed, pulling him to their chest. He fought and fought, but they held him tighter. He couldn't get away to save you. And you fell. You could hear his screams and sobs as the Earth gave out and you fell into the darkness of your own mind. Your own dry sobs reverberated through your ears. The darkness faded and then you were in your apartment again.

Kaneki was on his knees in front of you, sobbing into your lap. You ran your fingers through his snow white hair and frowned. He had left you for a while. And when he returned he was clad in black, hair white as snow and nails black as your mind. By the time he had returned, you were fading.

What happened to the Kaneki you had fallen in love with? This surely was not him. A half ghoul? The boy you fell for had been human. But, it didn't matter. You just fell again. And now here you were. A faded no one, holding one of the most dangerous ghouls in your lap. His tears soaked through your shirt. He whispered against your leg and stomach.

"I'm sorry."

"Come back."

"I love you."

"I need you."

And you replied quietly.

"Don't be."

"I'm here."

"I love you."

"I'm sorry."

He hadn't heard you speak in so long. His sobs filled the room as you soothed him quietly. He looked up at you with big eyes. Tears and snot had covered you both, but neither of you cared. 

"I don't care if you don't talk anymore. I don't care if you don't hug and kiss me. Just please, please stay alive. Do it for me. For yourself." 

His words were close to a whisper. You held his face in your hands and nodded. You leaned down, kissing him softly. You may be faded now, but no one really knew what the future held. And you didn't want to stop fighting yet. You wanted to hang on. 

And then you found yourself back inside your mind. And as you were falling, someone's hand gripped yours. You looked up and saw him. His white hair fell over his face, and his tears fell onto your cheeks. You could feel yourself being pulled back up. And then your feet touched the ground, and you stood in his embrace. And then, the darkness slowly began to fade, replaced by light. 

Now you weren't fading, the depression was.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick reminder that things may be shitty now, and the next few days, weeks or years. But things will not stay that way. I promise. It will get better. I promise. Stay alive. 
> 
> If you feel suicidal at all please call the Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.


End file.
